The Monthly Rag

Maybe this should be called the daily poop...But that would imply posts would go up on a daily basis and that shit just aint gonna happen.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Ya'll know what I hate, but have you ever wondered what I love?

Me neither until my latest rant. I feel like I should balance things out with a little love. (and not the obvious stuff like I like to laugh or I love my kid and I preemptively hate anyone who will hurt him in the future. That is just a given)

1) On the flip side of stupid and lazy, I love stunningly smart and motivation. Anyone who has a combination of those 2 qualities, will be my friend for life.

2) I am a fan of giving. I love to give shit away. If I don't need something, I would rather give it to someone who can use it or needs it. It's not altruistic, but rather, very pragmatic. With that said, I love it when people give me shit that they don't need, but I do. I love my new-to-me bar stools (thanks momma day!) I'll give anything away as long as it is not bolted down, it belongs to me and it is not a person. And I'm talking big items too. One time, my sister gave me her orange 280Z because my car died and she was going to Guatamala to teach. First of all, score on the color!! I loved that orange car! And second of all, it was FREE!! I later gave it to someone else. A few years ago, a friend of mine got her car stolen. I gave her my car because I just purchased a new car and my old one was just sitting around getting rusty. She is still driving it around today. I LOVE that shit! My motto, give it away if you don't need that shit...and if you have shit you don't need, call me first.

3) I love to organize. You could never tell by my office, but I have a general idea where stuff is because there is a system in place...that only I know. I also love that I gave that trait to my son. We spent all weekend reorganizing a room in our house and we had a blast. Along the same vein, I love checklists. I make them all the time. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE checking off or crossing out the things on my list. Even when I grocery shop, I have a list and a pen handy and I cross things off as I put stuff in my cart. It is the cheap and easy high to list making, but I still love it.

4) I love sex. No need to elaborate on this one, but just to clarify, I love sex with my boyfriend. I hate sex with strangers, nonconsentual sex and sex in public places. That kinda creeps me out. Other than those things, I have no conditions regarding sex. I love sex. (except anal, I won't do anal)

5) I love food. A lot. In fact, I find it amazing that I don't dig sex and food at the same time. But I think I wouldn't enjoy the mess or cleaning it up afterwards. Plus I think licking whipped cream off of someone's sac would produce an odd and unpleasant assortment of flavors and textures on my tongue. However, just seeing food on my plate (or even yours) makes me salivate. I actually made the conscious decision to stop patroning buffets because my brain can't tell my hand to put the fork down.

6) I love to personally challenge myself. I set goals for myself all the time and try to outdo myself. When I beat myself, it feels good.

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