Gluttony

Can someone please come over and smack a bitch the next time I decide that eating all you can eat Korean BBQ for three hours straight is a good idea? Because that little thing in most people's head that says, "put down the fork and scootch your chair away from the table now" when they have had enough to eat, appears to be broken in my head.

Mistake number one...I decided to not eat for the entire day so that I could shove as much meat down my gullet for dinner. By the time we got to the restaurant, I was ready to eat the napkins. I was so hongry (and a bit grumpy too). So we sit down and I immediately eat all of the panchin. By the time everyone had gotten there, most of it was gone and we had to order more. A few people were probably pissed, but did I mention I was HONGRY? Plus where was our meat?

So in due time, the meat was on the grill, we all ate and ate and ate and ate. There are a few schools of thought regarding KBBQ. Some people ordered rice to eat with concert with their meat and some people ate the chicken as well as the galbi and bulgolgi. Not me. I don't want to fill up on stuff I can eat every day or fill up on filler that is going to expand in my tummy squeezing out room for perfectly good meat. I drink very little water and just systematically insert meat in my mouth as it is done cooking.

Three hours later, I feel so sick. All I want to do is lie down. I'd curl up in a ball but my belly won't allow my legs to fold upward. The closest I can curl is in an L.

I would like to tell you the aftermath was horrible. That I took care of business when I got home, that I expelled the devil from the far recesses of my intestinal tract, that my toilet got an involuntary mud bath. But no, that did not happen. The meat stayed in my belly all night, grumbling and rolling about, making itself known, but refusing to make an appearance. As of this sitting, I have an alien body of a meat-mound the size of Mt. Olympus sitting on the side lines, waiting for it's cue...

New Passion!

I have a new passion and I swear this time that it will never fade away. Fortunately for me, my new passion includes elements that I already love so the transition will not be too difficult. The elements include food, great friends and sharing, but with a twist.

I love, love, love when good friends come over to my house and make dinner for me in my kitchen! There is something about watching someone else maneuver through my space that makes the food taste extra special. Plus I get to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing, an activity that is about as foreign to me as the truth is to Richard Bruce suck my Dick Cheney. The best part is, I didn't have to break a sweat or get in my car to eat an amazing meal.

I love food, I love friends and I love friends who cook for me.

Mom's Day

This post is dedicated to my Mom. I love my mom. I once bet someone that my mom was the best mom in the world. I won the bet because over time, my mom proved to be constant, supportive and ever-present.

My mom has been the one person who has ALWAYS believed in me. ALWAYS. Her latest advice to me was so profound yet such a simple truth, it is hard to believe that I don't call her 10 times a day.

I love you Mom and I hope Cole will feel the same way about me as I do about you as an adult. That would be the greatest gift ever. And no, that is not the only gift you are getting for Mother's Day this year, you're just going to have to wait a few days...

I LOVE you Mom!!!

My To-Do List for the Weekend

1) Clean the shit out of my head.
2) Clean the shit out of my house.
3) Clean the shit out of my garage.

Home bitter-sweet Home

Some of y'alls have been wondering what the heck has been going on in our household and I know you are DYING to get the scoop first hand. You're wondering what happened with Spend-free April amongst other things, but more emphasis on other things.

It was interesting and I am still trying to piece it all together in a logical and accurate manner. I am gathering my thoughts and wits about me before I make an official commentary. Or I may never spill the beans of what happened between these four walls over the past few days, but I do know this...we both did the best to our abilities.

With that said, I would just like to say one more thing before I shut this part of my life out forever:

Good luck and I sincerely wish you the best.

Be back soon

We are almost done with our social experiment. It officially ends next Friday, at which point, at the stroke of midnight, May 1, 2009, we plan on hauling our asses over to In and Out and buying ourselves a nice juicy double double, animal style, no tomatoes, extra pickles. Plus, I am kinda tired of cooking all the time.

Where the hell...?

In case y'all are wondering where the heck I've been all month, I've been hanging out on my other blog talking about how I'm not spending money for the entire month of April. Check it out at: http://depressionbandwagon.blogspot.com/

...or not, it's pretty freaking boring unless your me. and even then, I catch myself snoozing between the lines.

Sound Financial Advice from a 6 year old

Cole told me last weekend that he does not want to put his rolled up coins in his savings account at the bank.

When I asked why, he stated rather matter-of-factly that some banks steal.

We've now designated a mattress for purposes other than sleeping.

Passive Aggressive Behavior

People who are passive aggressive force me to become aggressively passive, otherwise, just like a drug addict, after one hit, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from beating the adult back into them.

Eating disorders

I know this is horrible to say and it is probably going to get me in trouble with someone, somewhere down the line...but...I wish I was bulimic. No, shut up, I really do. I love to eat but I don't like the by-products such as wondering who is following me uncomfortably close, only to discover it's my ass, being stereo-typed as lazy because I deposit more than I withdraw from the calorie bank, complete and utter rejection by both men and women, heart attacks and camel toes.

If I could stand the idea of puking every day, possibly 3 times a day, I guarantee, the economy would be stimulated. I would buy Ho-ho's, Yoo-hoo's, fried chicken, a vat of gravy, french baguettes with every type of cheese known to man, ice cream, marshmallows, mac and cheese, cream puffs, a bloomin' onion from Outback steak house, a side of bacon, krispy creme (which by the way, is the only donut I'll eat, the rest is just crap, I should know, I worked in a bakery and tried every freaking donut known to man from bear claws to crullers, I know what the hell I speak.), homemade biscuits, a meatball sandwich, a rotisserie chicken, turkey stuffing, pate, bbq pork ribs, flaming hot cheetos and a dollop of cool whip cream all washed down with a keg of coors light or a carton of two-buck chuck.

After I ate all of that, I'd stick my finger down my throat, take care of business, rinse my mouth out, wipe down the walls and figure out what's for lunch.